Chapter 180 Report
Since attending the dance at the palace, I did my best to heed all of the other noble families’ invitations.
If possible, I wanted to return to my territory as soon as possible.
But since my parents were both unable to move out, I had to stay in the capital.
Most importantly…the territory was still running quite smoothly. The only real concern was what Queen Ellia’s followers and Yuri might do. If anything happened on that front, staying in the capital meant it would be easier for me to mount a counterattack. That was one of my main reasons for staying.
The atmosphere in the capital right now was quite uneasy. Attending various banquets only reinforced this feeling in my mind.
At every banquet, everyone seemed to be trying to gain more information about each other.
Even though there had been comparisons in the past between the splendid society of nobles and a gathering of cunning foxes trying to deceive one another, right now it had become a much more appropriate question.
Even so, no one could display their power here.
I glanced over the reports and decisions from the territory and gave my instructions from there.
Because of how far I was from home, I needed to predict what might happen and base my orders around that.
Suddenly, my quill came to a full stop.
All the work I was doing right now. Would it disappear if I got married?
The thought flashed through my mind.
The Acacia Kingdom is a patriarchal society. Women probably wouldn’t be able to work.
Before then, I would have to depart from my own territory.
In my own imagined future, I would never get married, but would stay in my territory and work forever…the thought of going to another country to get married was almost unfathomable.
Just the thought was enough to make me feel like a hole was blossoming open in my heart.
Being surrounded by Tanya and everyone else…with Dean also by my side. It was a lot of responsibility and work…but because it was work that gave me a sense of accomplishment, I kept going with everyone’s support.
I dreamed that these days would last forever.
Even though I kept saying that Bern would inherit everything, I still held my dream close to me.
…I didn’t know that I would confront the end of it all like this.
““The blue blood of nobility flowing through my veins is my heritage. It’s something that I’ll have to keep protecting, from here unto forever…that’s why my mother, my grandmother, and all the ancestors that I’ve never even met continued with dignity in their political marriages. Isn’t that what a noble is?”
Mimosa’s words flashed through my head.
…They were a bitter pill of truth to swallow.
Every drop of blood that flowed through my veins, every single inch of my flesh, existed for this nation…more specifically, for my own family.
This was my duty as a noble. My pride.
I couldn’t help but blurt out his name.
Couldn’t help but want to see him.
But at the same time, I didn’t want to see him.
If I talked to him, then I would be able to forget my pains, if only temporarily.
But if we see each other, I would be in even more pain
I couldn’t give up.
There was no possibility of us having a future together.
…Even so, I yearn for it. I pray for it.
Just like Mimosa said, I am not like a regular noble.
All in all, I was thinking this and that without even knowing his thoughts. It was quite clear that I had lost my head in love.
Even if I had self-awareness, it made me sink even deeper.
I had the knowledge from my experience with Prince Edward, and look at me. Making the same mistakes again.
I placed my quill on the table.
As if to chase away the dark thoughts that consumed me, I took a deep breath.
I told myself that there wasn’t time to think about things like that. My heart became calm again.
Then I opened my eyes, and returned to the work before me.
…Time really flew by when you were focused. I managed to deal with all the documents that had to be dealt with today on time.
With a sigh, I retrieved Moneda’s letter to me.
The contents were details that I had wanted him to confirm. The reason for inflation in the capital, as well as investigations into relevant guilds.
Even Tanya said that would take a long time. Moneda really was showing off his skills again.
The influence within the merchants’ guild was still strong.
When I was looking through the note, someone knocked at the door. Tanya walked in.
“Miss, is it a good time for me to deliver a report right now?”
Tanya reported the process of Mimosa’s engagement.
The surprise that rushed through my mind made everything go blank.
Seeing me go silent, Tanya seemed concerned.
“It’s…fine. Tanya, continue.”
Tanya still looked worried, but she continued.
“Miss Mimosa wanted me to deliver a message to you.”
“You met her?”
“Yes, when I learned about all this.”
“Is that so? What did she say?”
“…She doesn’t want you to do anything. She doesn’t want your help.”
I clenched my jaw, savoring the words in my mind.
“It really is her style.”
I smiled in exasperation. Tanya made a similar face.
“She said something like this, right? When I discover the truth, she wants you to stop me…”
Tanya bowed, affirming my guess.
“She’s such an idiot.”
That’s all I could say about Mimosa’s gentleness.
My tears were about to stream from my eyes. I held them back, trying to suppress the chaotic thoughts in my mind with a deep breath.
If it was Mimosa, I didn’t mind even if she wanted to use me for her own ends.
But thinking from the other perspective, it was indeed very difficult to act right now.
Although the reputation of Duke Armenia’s family was a powerful tool, it also came with a great deal of limitations.
Acting out in a situation like this one might risk aggravating the political battles within the palace.
But was this was enough of a reason for me to abandon a friend? The answer was no.
To me, Mimosa was not a negligible existence.
When I lost my place in the academy, she stood by my side until the very end. She was an important friend to me.
If she hadn’t supported me through the whole ordeal, the rumors about me would have been twice as bad.
Just like she always had me on her mind, she was also incredibly important to me.
Closing my eyes, I began to think.
“Tanya, can I ask you a favor?”
“Your wish is my command.”
“Thank you. Please send a message to Priest Ralph. Of course, no one else can know about this.”
“When you’re finished with all your reports I’ll tell you the contents of the message..”
“If I know you, you’ve already investigated all there is to investigate. If not, you would have said so at the outset. Thank you so much.”
The smile that blossomed on Tanya’s face was bright as a flower.
“You speak too highly of me…now I’ll report on Yuri.”
I switched my mood and listened to her speak.