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Common Sense of a Duke’s Daughter

Chapter 88: A Storm of Thoughts

 

As soon as Dida and Ryle left, I returned to my daily tasks. However, my mind was preoccupied with the conversation.

“…. Ah.” I misspelled a word on the elegant document I was writing on. Meaningless words floated in my head—the word “carelessness” fully described my state right now.

I put down my pen and stretched out myself. From head to toe, my body made “creak, creak” sounds, noises that shouldn’t come from a young woman. Those very words in my brain are all from that discussion.

…. Ever since becoming the Representative Feudal Lord, I’ve felt numerous times that some problems simply didn’t have reasonable solutions. But, I never thought that I would run into this obstacle again.

However, the issue is all just a big “if” …. Forgetting something that only might happen wasn’t difficult. I only needed to lie to myself, saying decisions could wait until the final kick lands.

But, if I were to do that… Dida wouldn’t accept it. And all the deceptive bull would be scraped away anyway when time comes.

When it comes to that…. I fear even I wouldn’t be able to disillusion my own thoughts. I could already imagine the frenzied, useless state that I’d be in.

Plenty of times, including now, people’s fates…. Have been in my hands. People wind up dead under a powerless lord.

 …. But this time, the situation’s severity was on a whole other level.

I must take responsibility, responsibility of the people’s destinies. I’ll be held liable for human lives, and nothing I’ve ever experienced was at this severity.

…. Forget about my “previous life,” even the “I” in this current life have never assumed such accountability.

*TL note: Iris is saying that even though she’s been sort of “in charge” of people’s fates (financially and culturally), she’s never really been responsible for human lives so directly. Of course, she’s talking about the possible upcoming war.

Reincarnation into a world where nobody is harmed would have been best. Then, no matter who, anyone would receive kindness and generosity.

 Nobody would have to feel any pain, just as fairy tales described. Darkness would be wrapped up in a big candy wrapper.

No, if this were still a game…. Iris would probably acquire all the filth as the antagonist. But honestly, worlds where everyone is treated affectionately don’t exist.

No matter what, this world was still real. If not, I wouldn’t be able to see this clearly into people’s hearts. All kinds of thoughts and ideals swirl around like a storm. Aristocrats steal people’s rights and power with dark, ugly faces.

Children’s fables definitely would not mention the chasm between the filthy rich and the impoverished poor.

Each thought made me come up with more. All these ideas were the reason why I was so stressed. … I should ask Tanya to bring something to drink, I couldn’t work like this. I stopped my inner monologue, and was just about to call her name….

“…. Ah, kya~….” The little tower of documents fell over. Countless papers fluttered in the air.

Oh, no.

The files that I had so laboriously organized were a mess. I thought of how long and difficult it would be to rearrange them, and finally became fed up.

“…. Tanya.”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Apologies, but I’m going to the salon. Please pass this message to others, and prepare tea. Also, will you please reorganize these files for me?”

“Yes, I understand.”

I threw all my work aside, and finally took a break.

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