Chapter 79: Two People Waiting for Fate

We managed to gather the stray horses and headed toward the Holy Capital, Sasfect. The bandit group we had tangled with was apparently a criminal organization recently wanted in this region. Because they rode horses with high mobility, they had been running around various places, leaving the Kenneth Orthodox army at their wits’ end.

As we rode the two horses we had managed to round up, Father Dordon taught me various things. No wonder Father Dordon had been able to grasp the bandits’ true nature so quickly when he first spotted them from afar.

“So, we accidentally improved world safety.”

“It doesn’t matter what happens to public order at this point. Besides, don’t you realize you are speaking quite contradictorily?”

Father Dordon slowed his horse and peered into my face. Since we had been running all day and night was falling, we found a suitable spot to begin preparing for camp.

“Oakley-kun’s left hand is a bomb that can destroy this country. It is also almost certain that you yourself are a vanguard for the Heretics. We are heading to the Holy Capital Sasfect to destroy this country, are we not? For someone like you to talk about maintaining public order or whatever—it is contradictory to an outsider.”

Father Dordon roasted the animal he had killed with a throwing knife, sprinkled it with a little salt, and bit into it. He pushed the half-eaten meat at me, saying, “Oakley-kun, you eat too,” but I absolutely hated the idea of an indirect kiss with Father Dordon.

The priest, looking disappointed at having his offered meat rejected, continued to eat silently, his mouth making mushy chewing sounds. With nothing to do, I decided to convey the fragments of memory I had recalled during the battle with the bandits.

“Father Dordon. I remembered something. Just a little.”

“Hmm? Hmm?”

“My memories from the past. About someone precious.”

“Ho, so a part of your memory has returned? Well, tell me.”

“Do you know Yoanne Sagamix?”

“Yoanne—surely not that Yoanne Sagamix? There isn’t a person in this country who doesn’t know that woman’s name. It is famous that she has fought death battles time and again with the Kenneth Orthodox executive, Lady Celestia.”

Father Dordon began talking about Yoanne in a loquacious tone. For the past few decades, the Arros Temple Sect had shaken the Holy Nation of Geluid. That must be why the infamy of Arros and Yoanne was so widespread.

Ah, yes. I knew her better than anyone. Yoanne’s strength, her terror. The complex heart hidden within. I knew it all, deep in my bones…

“And so, what about that Yoanne? You aren’t going to tell me that woman is your precious person, are you?”

“No, that is exactly right. Yoanne is an irreplaceable person to me… I love her, but I hate her. She is a presence so precious I cannot express it in simple words.”

“…Did you hit your head? Yoanne speaks human language, but I have heard from Lady Celestia that no matter how many words you exchange, mutual understanding is impossible. I understand you were a Heretic before you lost your memory, but… could that memory not be a fake one implanted in you?”

“No, it’s different. I can assert that. Look at my left hand. My index, middle, and ring fingers are swapped with someone else’s, right?”

“…………”

I removed my black glove and thrust my left hand in front of the brightly burning bonfire. Father Dordon stared intently at my left hand as told, but his cheeks twitched slightly at the grotesqueness of it.

Of the five fingers on my left hand, the ones swapped with another’s were the index, middle, and ring fingers. The owner of the index finger was likely a man, as it was a long, gnarled finger. Since the middle and ring fingers had different skin tones and sizes, I had vaguely guessed they were from different women—

Among these three fingers, the owner of the ring finger was Yoanne Sagamix. And I remembered the reason why I had gone to the trouble of exchanging body tissues, specifically for that ring finger. Having regained part of my memory, I was certain.

“The ring finger on my left hand—I swapped this finger with Yoanne. At first, it was forced, but we swapped them like an engagement ring to pledge our future.”

Slurp! “A ring of engagement, or rather, a finger of engagement… is that it? Lick… What a funny joke. You made me laugh.”

To my serious explanation, Father Dordon dismissed it with a smirk, calling it a light joke. Seeing me remain silent, the old man’s expression gradually fell, and he dropped the meat he was clutching onto his lap in a daze.

“…Are you crazy? What kind of romance is that? As expected, your core is that of a Heretic…”

“I return that sentiment exactly.”

“Eh… I am quite a bit better than that. Unlike that Yoanne, I have only killed nineteen innocent people. It is a small price to pay considering the number of people a great man like me has saved.”

Annoyed by the priest who tried to count human lives in numbers, I devoured the animal meat I had hunted myself. After a short silence, Father Dordon took my left hand and observed the ring finger intently, making sure not to touch that part.

“Even so… so this ring finger belongs to Yoanne Sagamix. Haha… this is the first time I have seen a piece of an executive. I never thought it would be this slender.”

Father Dordon mumbled into his beard as he organized the information.

“Oakley-kun is a Heretic who has been saddled with pieces of three Heretic executives… and of the flesh pieces entrusted to you, the identity of one is Yoanne Sagamix’s. And Oakley-kun’s bomb is scheduled to be detonated at the Holy Capital Sasfect… is that about the size of it? I have grasped it. This is big news for anyone concerned with the country’s security.”

The priest suppressed a chuckle that seemed to well up from within him. I was irritated by his act of knowing everything, so I threw out a joke.

“Hey. Shall I try calling Yoanne?”

“Huh?”

“The trigger is probably cutting off this finger. If I cut it with this dagger, she will surely fly over here immediately.”

“St-stop! Don’t kid around! What will become of your travel funds!?”

“It’s a joke. A joke, but… it’s true that I want to see Yoanne.”

“Th-that much? …However, listening to you talk for a while now, I cannot tell at all if you want to side with the Kenneth Orthodox or the Arros Temple Sect. Which side do you intend to take?”

“…That is…”

I was left speechless by the unexpected counterpunch.

After Yoanne crossed my mind, the figures of Makena-san and Marietta drifted by. —I certainly held Yoanne dear, but I had no intention of siding with the Temple Sect that sought to destroy this country. If I were to side with anyone, it would be the Kenneth Orthodox.

However, to truly side with the Kenneth Orthodox, I had to remove the executive’s fingers adhered to my left hand. As long as I carried this bomb, I was an enemy of the Kenneth Orthodox. I had managed to deceive Pomett-san’s eyes that one time, but if they saw the irrefutable evidence, there would be no more room for excuses.

Yet, I didn’t know how to remove the bomb in my left hand. I might be able to remove it if I borrowed the power of an Orthodox executive, but I couldn’t imagine they would even listen to me, given that I was in possession of a Heretic executive’s flesh.

Suppose a suspicious man approached saying, “I want to defect from the Heretics, so could you cleanly remove the Heretic executive’s fingers adhered to my left hand? Well, I don’t know when it will explode, so I’m really relying on others for help!”

If I were an Orthodox executive, I would kill him instantly. Given the worst-case track record of the city of Daskel, which was destroyed by a similar operation, there was no way they could keep such a suspicious person alive.

(…Wait? By any chance, am I checkmated…?)

My heart wanted to side with the Kenneth Orthodox. But if I moved toward the Orthodox side while maintaining the status quo, the future of “death” was inescapably determined.

I could try hiding this grotesque left hand and lying low, but I couldn’t keep it hidden forever. Because the name “Oakley” of the Heretics was known, it would be the end if someone with the same name—or rather, the same person—was subjected to even a light investigation just “to be sure.”

(B-but, it’s also impossible to side with the Heretics. They are the heinous villains who destroyed Marietta’s hometown. Besides, they kidnapped Makena-san’s son, Steve-san. It’s impossible to side with people like that. My past self, what kind of feelings did you have while being a Heretic…!?)

To me, who remained silent with a pale face, Father Dordon spoke as if he could read all my thoughts.

“…You are overflowing with the desire to side with the Kenneth Orthodox after losing your memory, but because the Oakley-kun before you lost your memory was actually a Heretic, your future is pitch black no matter how you act. And you are being torn apart by the survival instincts any normal human has, and are trying to head for the Holy Capital Sasfect while leaving things vague. …Am I wrong?”

“…You hit the nail on the head.”

“It is admirable that you can admit it.”

“Shut up. You, too, will be hunted by both the Orthodox and the Heretics.”

“I know.”

“What…?”

“You want to say that you will die soon too, right, Oakley-kun?”

Then, why could this man remain so calm? I glared at him with eyes that saw something unbelievable. He then flashed a lewd smile.

“…Why am I so calm, you ask? Slurp… It is not that I am calm. I am panicking inside. But you see, I want to stand tall in any situation. In other words, in front of the man I love, I want to be a ‘cool man with room to spare at all times.’”

“Huh…?”

“At this very moment, I have reached the mountain peak of my life. The Kenneth Orthodox has likely uncovered my murders by now, and the Temple Sect knows I tried to attack you, Oakley-kun. Kukuku, just like you. My future is also pitch black! The moment I deliver you to the Holy Capital Sasfect, my guarantee of life will be gone! The Arros Temple Sect will send assassins to silence me! And the Kenneth Orthodox will put out an international warrant for me and chase me to the ends of the earth!”

Father Dordon let out a boisterous, phlegm-filled laugh. He was right. This man was a full-fledged serial killer, a hopeless piece of scum who tried to rape and kill me. Similarly, he stood in a desperate situation where the fate of his death was almost certain. If anything, he was in the pinch of having death come to him sooner than mine—

And yet, Father Dordon looked genuinely happy. According to him, it was a laugh of bravado, but to me, his expression looked like that of a hero enjoying his final leisure time.

“Oakley-kun, I will likely die in the not-too-distant future. Sooner than you. …I, too, fear death. ‘Death’ is too strong. It cannot be resisted. It is absolutely unavoidable. When I think about my overwhelming ‘life’ being stopped without mercy, I was terrified and could not stop trembling.”

Father Dordon held his half-cooked meat against the roaring bonfire, his eyes harboring raging passion.

“But when I thought about the end of my life, what happened? It came full circle and… I became excited. An excitement stronger than fear. I wanted to experience it. Death. I must confirm with my own eyes what the nineteen boys I killed felt as they died. I will likely not have a normal death whether I am caught by the Orthodox or the Heretics. That is fine. …I am looking forward to it. The fate that befalls me. You, too, should stand tall like me.”

“…I cannot do that like you.”

“You think too seriously! If you have no other choice, try living carelessly! Actually, it is more fun now than when I was obsessed with perfect crimes!”

The man named Dordon is a piece of shit, but I found myself somewhat envious of his way of life and mentality. If I could be unburdened like him, perhaps…

“There are two things I must do in the rest of my life. Delivering Oakley-kun to the Holy Capital Sasfect. And this is something I have changed my mind about recently… reaching a state of sexual intercourse by mutual consent.”

“Huh?”

“…For me, Oakley-kun is special. Even if I want to force myself on you, I cannot. No, strictly speaking, I can, but the pure maiden heart hidden deep in my soul has begun to desire a platonic relationship. Therefore, my journey with you is the final pleasure left to me.”

“I was a fool to try to listen to you after all.”

“I want to make you fall in love with me before we reach the Holy Capital Sasfect. Assuming the goal is sexual intercourse by mutual consent, well, given the remaining time, I guess we’ll make it to a kiss at most…”

“Your self-evaluation is too high. Just die already!”

I looked away from Father Dordon, spread the rough cloth on the ground, and lay down.

After Father Dordon’s boisterous laughter echoed for a while, I heard the quiet voice of the old man amidst the sound of popping firewood.

“It would be difficult to give an answer now. But you have a small amount of leeway. Five days until we arrive at the Holy Capital Sasfect… in that time, think about what you want to do, what you can do. And whether you will side with the Orthodox or the Heretics. Or whether you will choose a third path to carve out your own destiny… be sure to think it through.”

…I know. That all the paths left for me are steep.

But I don’t know what to do.

I cannot be like Father Dordon.

While thinking of my own gloomy future, I fell asleep before I knew it. Just before I fell asleep, I felt as if a blanket had been draped over my back.