< Evade the Hero and Flee! 210 #24. Why Does it Have To Be Me? (7) >
“…is what I think they left the Evil God’s apostle alone. Probably?” Mirua told me her opinion while tilting her head.
“Huh? But it’s the apostle of the Evil God we are talking about here!”
“Her Highness isn’t the type to care about stuff like that, you know.”
I was left speechless for a while when Mirua nodded as if what she said was inalienable truth. And after a dilemma, I had no choice but to agree with her. “I… I see.”
My opponent was the Imperial Princess. That woman who seemed to have fed her common sense to a dog and did all the nonsensical things without hesitation! She was definitely capable of leaving alone the Evil God’s apostle that threatened the world’s existence just to catch me.
“Indeed, if it’s Her Highness, she could very well be treating the Evil God’s apostle as a useful siege weapon, instructor. It can easily smash through the annoying fortress walls on either side of the border and give her the pretext, too.” Mirua continued on with some persuasive arguments.
“The more I hear you, the more convincing you sound.”
“Well, we’re talking about Her Highness here, after all.”
“…I guess you’re right.”
As expected of the team leader appointed by that hard-to-please Imperial Princess. Mirua sure knew that woman well, didn’t she?
“If it’s Her Highness, she wouldn’t even bat an eyelid over a couple of kingdoms getting obliterated.”
“No, wait. It’d be a relief if she didn’t care, but I think Her Highness might have told the Crown Imperial Prince to go and take care of the ruined kingdoms instead. Searching for you will get easier by increasing the empire’s territories, you see!”
“Hang on a minute, now that’s a scary reason!”
What’s even scarier is that… what Mirua said is definitely possible!
“Waaait! The truth is! The demon king has already been defeated by Her Highness! And then! She might have told the demon king if it wants to keep calling itself that title, it must defeat the demon continent’s demon king first! And that’s why it’s coming here!”
“What the hell? I know that’s bullsh*t, but what’s up with this persuasive power?!”
Mirua’s expression remained the same as usual, but her voice was gradually heating up. “Orrrr! Her Highness has already turned that creature into her slave!”
“Hang on? How do you turn the apostle of the Evil God into your slave?”
“Shouldn’t it be possible by using a Geass roll like you’ve done, instructor?”
“Mm… No one has used a Geass roll on the Evil God before, so I can’t be sure.”
The imperial court held some information regarding the Evil God, but it mostly talked about the general suspicion of how it was related to the demon race. When I compared that info with what I learned from the demons, though, that stuff was totally wrong.
The devils being summoned to this plane of existence was done through the medium of contracts and magic. However, the Evil God began as one of the deities that ruled this world. Three days and nights might not be enough to explain all the hypotheses involving that deity, but if I were to summarise them greatly…!
After the gods worked so hard to seal away the concept of ‘evil’, a nameless god pulled a troll move and released it back on to the world. As a result, the thing that the Creator God didn’t even create, ‘evil’, spread to all corners of the world.
Some theories said that the world was already tainted by evil by the time the concept was sealed away. Then, a deity was hurt by humanity and released ‘evil’ as retaliation to destroy the world, etc, etc… Various stories floated around, but that’s how they all ended.
Just like how a gathering of five people would inevitably have a trash among them, there was no guarantee that gods wouldn’t have a trash among their ranks!
Sounds like you’re also victorious today! Oh, Sage JiXbo! 
Mirua suddenly said something. “I heard from Ria that Surtr was the first great devil to get scammed by you, instructor. Sooo, if it’s you, I’m sure you can also scam the Evil God’s apostle!”
Hey, what’s up with your baseless confidence? Your trust in me sounds pretty absolute, but it’s still making me feel bad, you know!
“Besides all that, why does it feel like you’re being cheeky with me lately?”
Hoping to find an excuse to punish her, I zeroed in on her impolite, overtly friendly manner of speech. Sure, she’d panic slightly and try to sound more polite every now and then, but almost everything she said to me sounded casual.
“Ehehe~! I can’t escape from here anyway, so I might as well get a job here!”
Huh? She wants to work in the… demon king’s castle, of all places? Even though she’s a human? To think that she’d say that with a straight face! Yup, she’s definitely got some screws loose in her head.
“Oh, so you want to betray the Imperial Princess?”
“Oh, no. It’s not betraying, but more like I’m already fired by her a long time ago. Something like that? Both Swinn and Ria prepared themselves before crossing over, but they are probably captured by Her Highness by now. Her Highness knows that you have captured me… Which means I’m unemployed now…”
Mirua pretended to cry… Actually, she even began tearing up while looking up at me, but…
“You know, the hero punk once told me this.”
“If it’s too convincing with you, then you’re definitely faking it.”
Mirua now looked genuinely disappointed.
“Well, you did give me your opinion on the matter, so I shall uphold my promise.” While saying that, I pushed a plate of food slightly towards Mirua.
“Gulp! C-can I really eat it now?” Mirua drooled messily as she stared at the plate of food before her. Her eyes were clearly burning in a gluttonous desire.
I wanna eat that! I wanna shove that food in my mouth right now! Although she hadn’t said anything, I thought I could clearly hear her mind scream those words out loud.
“Yes, you may.”
“Thank you so much!”
Mirua resembled a puppy that couldn’t eat the pet food in front of her and had to wait for the owner’s permission first. She pounced on the plate of fried chicken.
“This flavour is still an experimental one, so give me feedback on it later on.”
Mirua nodded with her mouth full of new product bravely put forward by the Chicken Department.
“Listen to me while you’re eating. Got that?”
Mirua might not look like much, but she used to lead a powerful combat unit. And it was no ordinary unit either, but a gathering of elites within the elite-only army belonging to the Imperial Princess, revered as the strongest in the entire empire!
It meant that the Imperial Princess had acknowledged Mirua’s combat strength, intelligence, and ability to think on her feet. Not only that but she also amply demonstrated her ability by capturing me through the ‘Aerial Transport By Wyverns’ tactic at Belegrea’s behest.
Well, the crucial bit about that story was that Belegrea bribed Mirua with a dish of special cuisine, but that’s the tale for another day. In any case! A plate of new, not-yet-released fried chicken was enough to get her opinion on the matter at hand.
“If the Evil God’s apostle and demons fight, who do you think will win, Mirua?”
“Mm… I don’t know the scale of the Evil God’s apostle, so… Mm… I… can’t tell.” Mirua replied while diligently chewing on the boneless chicken pieces. “Gulp~! Honestly speaking, I’ve never seen this so-called demon king AKA apostle chosen by the Evil God, so it’s difficult to estimate anything. However, if it’s pure combat strength, I don’t think the demon race with hundreds of demon kings would lose… Then again, I heard the apostle is leading an army, so their numbers must be huuuge, too…”
Judging by how Mirua stopped shoving fried chicken in her mouth and pondered the topic, I guessed that she was dead serious about this.
Since I found her grunting and racking her brain pitiful to watch, I told her the current information on the Evil God’s army. “According to the latest information, the Evil God’s army consists of over twenty thousand animals and monsters in the ‘berserk’ state. However, unlike the previous apostles that threatened the existence of our world, there are no evil dragons or spirits tainted by evil.”
Sure, this information wasn’t reliable, and the unique trait of that Evil God’s apostle allowed it to increase the army’s scale. However, having the info was better than not having it.
“Mm… I guess it’s winnable, then? As long as the enemy demon king isn’t you, instructor.”
“Hey, you. Just what do you think I am…?”
Did this girl think I was at least an equal to the Evil God’s apostle? No, wait a second. Before that…
“So, you think we can definitely win?”
“Yup. If the enemy army is only that much, even Her Highness could’ve won easily.” Mirua resumed gorging on the fried chicken as if there were no longer any problems to worry about. But her statement left me speechless.
Just how much power does that crazy b*tch of an Imperial Princess possess that she could look down on the Evil God’s apostle capable of ending this world?!
“…What are you basing that on, Mirua?”
“Finish eating that first, will you?”
Mirua got my permission, so she ever-so-lovingly chewed the chicken in her mouth and swallowed it down.
My daughter told me that bones had to be removed from the meat by hand until recently, but a new type of magic spell was developed to go around this stumbling block. However, I began wondering if magic really was necessary here.
To me, demons seemed 100% capable of munching through the meat, bones and all, and not worrying about any bone pieces getting stuck in their throat. As expected of my dear daughter! As expected of the Chicken Department! They were displaying the power of the No.1 budget allocation in all the government departments in the demon continent!
“Stop being emotional and tell me your basis.”
While staring at Mirua tearing up in awe, I sneakily pulled the half-finished plate of fried chicken in my way.
“Ahh?! I based my opinion on the records of the Evil God’s apostles appearing on the continent until now! There was precedence of a small kingdom withstanding an army of twenty thousand monsters for about a month, you see!” Mirua quickly replied, then reached with the speed of lightning to retrieve the rest of the chicken. She then lovingly held the food in her embrace.
I couldn’t help but wonder if a certain crazy ‘rabbit’ from a popular webnovel was like this when she went berserk trying to protect her cake from the MC.
“What you’re saying is… The combat force of our demon kings will wipe out a small kingdom in around a month.”
“Yes, instructor. My subordinates can do that much, you see.”
Mirua replied with a haughty pride in her expression. In that case, how should I knock her down a notch here? How about…
“Hey, you. Didn’t you get fired already?”
For now, let me point out her (presumed) firing first.
“To think I got fired! I’m an unemployed bum now?!”
Mirua made a depressed face while munching on the chicken pieces. I thought I saw a brief glimpse of my past self in her at that moment. Right, I used to be like her in my previous life. I worked my butt off to get hired by my first job, but my lack of ability got me fired on the first day.
Sure, my employer was not exactly a ‘private company’ in the traditional sense, nor could I call that place a government department, but man, their pay was pretty sweet, wasn’t it!
To think I got fired on the first day! I became unemployed as soon as saying, “I’m gonna do my best!”
The recollection of the painful past, something I haven’t experienced in a while, helped me see Mirua in a more… ‘pitying’ light. Indeed, I was just like her once upon a time. If it hadn’t been for my master who taught me how to use blades, I wouldn’t have bought myself a home, never mind being able to pay rent every month.
The house prices back then might have been in the doldrums, but I was making less than a million in my day job, you see!
“Hey. You want me to find new employment for you?”
“C-can you really do that, instructor?”
By now, I’ve lived in this screwed-up world longer than on Earth. It must’ve been my age at fault here since the past memories continued to rear their heads rather often these days.
Sure, this kid’s previous job title was the team leader of a bizarre organisation called Kidnap Ast Squad, but she was still my former disciple! As such, I should at least help her find a new job! I’m none other than Instructor Naruan, guaranteeing you a 100% chance of employment after leaving my care!
“Do you have a department you want to work for?”
“Yes! The Chicken Department, definitely! I’ll devote my life to assisting Minister Alice!” Mirua jumped up from her chair and rushed at me with the vigour of a runaway truck.
Now that I thought about it… This kid, she’s a fervent worshipper of my daughter, isn’t she?
The first time Mirua met my daughter, she began trembling and said some indecipherable things, such as “Thank you, I’m sorry… and I love you!”
I did get an explanation from her later on. Apparently, she was trying to say, “Thank you for spreading the goodness of fried chicken. I’m sorry for not eating your delicious chicken every day. And I love you, Lady Alice!”
As expected of my devastatingly charming daughter! I was left in awe of my daughter’s charms that could even enslave Mirua like this.
I slowly rubbed my chin. “The Chicken Department, is it… Indeed, it’s one of the most popular departments to work for.”
The Chicken Department was a mysterious place filled with workers willing to do anything and everything my daughter told them to do. Her cuteness and charisma had utterly enslaved them, after all! As proof, look no further than how they managed to create a magic spell to separate bones from the chicken meat!
“Very well. If our demon kings don’t lose in the battle, I shall have you assigned to the Chicken Department right away.”
“Thank you so much!”
Mirua prostrated on the floor while still diligently hugging the plate of fried chicken. While looking down at her, I waited with bated breath on the report detailing how powerful the Evil God’s apostle really was.
If it looked bad, I was thinking of fleeing with my daughter in tow, just in case!
And then, about a week later…
“Sire. Our army has won,” said Belegrea.
The great war with the fate of the demon continent at stake ended oh-so easily in the demon race’s favour.
“Yes. Out of over thirty thousand enemy combatants, about twenty thousand have been killed, and the rest have retreated, sire. However, the Evil God’s apostle never appeared during the war.”
“Mm, that’s rather concerning, isn’t it?”
If I’m being honest, killing the Evil God’s apostle would’ve cleanly ended everything, regardless of whether the enemy army had thirty thousand or a hundred thousand combatants. No matter the numbers, that army consisted of regular animals and monsters turned into mindless killing machines by the Evil God’s apostle, after all.
As long as that apostle was not dead, the so-called Season of Evil, a fancy name for the impending world destruction, would not be over.
“Currently, our demon kings are searching for the Evil God’s apostle, but… Even the workers constructing the border fortress wall have testified that they did not witness the Evil God’s apostle during the first engagement.”
I groaned. “In other words, there’s a chance that that creature hasn’t even crossed over to this side.”
“Yes, sire.” Belegrea nodded. Since she was the commander during the war and witnessed everything personally, it should be fine to trust her report.
“However, I’ve been burned by trust before, so no.”
My original prediction was that the Evil God’s apostle wouldn’t have crossed the border to enter the demon continent. However, my belief in that was already betrayed once.
“From this moment on, increase the defences of the demon king’s castle to the absolute maximum! Then, summon Mirua and my daughter here right away!”
“Sire? May I ask for the reason?” Belegrea was somewhat flustered by my sudden command.
In that case, I should tell her. “I have a bad feeling.”
“And whenever I get such a feeling, someone is definitely aiming for my life!”
“What are you even talking about…?”
Belegrea looked dumbfounded by what I said, so I also told her to believe in the noble Demon God’s will. Since Belegrea was a fanatical worshipper, she readily nodded away and began carrying out my commands without any further questions.
Unfortunately, my prediction turned out to be spot on. What I didn’t expect, though, was…
The Evil God’s apostle paying me a visit was…
“Yes, I was also surprised,” said the Evil God’s apostle with a bitter smile. “It’s been a while, instructor.”
…The creature turned out to be one of my former disciples.
: Again, this seems to be a reference to Jirobo, a character from Naruto.