The Taming of the Yandere
Chapter 9: The Entertaining Comedy Stand-Up
Our education system highly values fiction.
From when I was in elementary school, I would turn in dropped money to the police, or help my mother do chores around the house. When I started middle school, I became more knowledgeable, and began helping elderly walk across the street.
Once I entered high school, everyone had to act way ahead of their age. Through complex prompts, art, and essays, we wrote about countless topics we didn’t even understand.
The web novel industry is a perfect example of the result of our school teachings.
Of course, this influenced the entire Chinese literature world as well. The two most popular genres, science and historical fiction, are truly impressive, and equally loved by the public.
And those gender-bending stories, with authors imagining how their characters will act after turned into a girl, are also really creative!
To be fair, I’ve had that thought before. Everyone has. But I imagined those gender-bent boys becoming actual, real girls, so that our national male-female ratio will balance a bit. *
*In early 2010s China, men generally outnumbered women around 30-40 million. Now, it’s not so bad as before, though. You can learn more by Googling it.
The road to finding a perfect woman is already a treacherous one. If the ratio were to equalize, I would have more chances to find more excellent girls, to birth more successful offspring.
I really wanted to tell the truth to Teacher Li. But the truth was far too complex, and a simple man like him could never believe my words.
Thankfully, I’ve read plenty of novels, and seen plenty of news in my lifetime. Spinning a simple story that diverts responsibility was a piece of cake.
I cleared my throat, and began my dance.
Teacher, the truth is….
Jiang Muqing and I are childhood friends. Recently, her father’s business started to fail, so he borrowed some of my father’s money. But when the deadline came, he didn’t return his debt.
The relationship between our two households steadily worsened, my father carried a bat…. No, the debt slip, to their house demanding payment. But they still dragged on their debt, so my father decided to sue them in court.
But because of my friendship with Jiang Muqing, she pleaded me to calm my father for a few days, they didn’t have any money left. If he really sued their family, the contract will confiscate their car and house to the bank, and their possessions will all be taken away.
I beseeched my father, trying to cool him down. But he said, if you take their side, I’ll break your leg.
For my leg, I could only say my farewells to my childhood friend, and tearfully reject Jiang Muqing.
The day of her speech, was the same day her family was getting evicted from their property. She couldn’t control her emotions, so she lashed out once she saw me, seeking revenge.
Of course, we couldn’t just start mouthing off in front of the entire grade, so we went outside to settle the matter.
Because Jiang Muqing was a girl, I could only argue with her, and abstain from violence. But not only did she punch and kick, her sinister claws grabbed my face, too.
But at last, I won the argument by threatening the law. She broke down, depressed, and ran out of the school.
I swallowed. My mouth was incredibly dry. I drank a whole cup of buckwheat tea in one gulp, sucking the dregs to the bone.
Teacher Li seemed mystified. He returned to his senses when I stopped talking, and poured more tea.
But even though Li was listening intently, his face still expressed suspicion.
“Teacher, look at the bruise on my face, it’s obvious that she did it! She nearly tore my face off!” I turned my cheek, and showed the wound.
“It really is….” Teacher Li looked carefully.
Why does he still look skeptical? The story was completely reasonable, and had true events to back it.
“Teacher, I have more injuries, if you want to see, I can take off my shirt right now.” I started to reach towards my collar.
Actually, I wasn’t hurt at all under my shirt, but I believed that the teacher wouldn’t allow me to undress in his office.
“Alright, no need. I believe you.”
Finally, he showed understanding.
“But why would something like that sound so entertaining from your mouth? I almost felt like I was watching a comedy stand-up, it was truly fascinating to watch.” The teacher smiled awkwardly.
I’ve never done comedy, okay? This is the stuff of light novels! Although I felt dismal, I still kept my face pitiful.
“Then why were you looking for her this morning? Aren’t you two enemies now?”
Teacher Li thought of another good point.
He really deserves to be the Head of First Year, not missing out a single detail. Thankfully, I thought of that question long before I even started.
“Since they’re still old friends, my father changed his mind and wants to help them. We want to try get their house back from the bank first. Teacher, my family isn’t that cruel and cold-hearted, see? My father wanted me to tell Jiang Muqing, since her father doesn’t want to meet my father ever again.”
I collected my emotions, and made another pitiful face.
“So that’s what it was! Grudges shouldn’t be held for that long, either.” Teacher Li was supportive of our family’s decision.
“But, Teacher, Jiang Muqing doesn’t seem to be in her classroom…. Is she absent from school today?” I asked.
Teacher Li’s face showed lines of worry.
“Maybe because her family’s financial problems, she doesn’t feel very good right now. Ever since her speech in the lecture hall, she hasn’t been coming to school. If this keeps up, she’ll fall behind the curriculum.” Teacher Li was concerned.
Shit, what if she died, and the school still doesn’t know?!
“Has she called any time?” I asked.
“She did give us a call for her absence in the morning.”
I jumped up in excitement.
If Jiang Muqing called in the morning, then the corpse in the news wasn’t her. I was relieved.
“What’s wrong?” Teacher Li peered doubtfully.
“It’s nothing, Teacher. If you could, can you give me her house address? I want to settle this today.” I wanted to go take a look, to see if things are okay.
“Didn’t you say you were close to Jiang Muqing? Don’t you know her address?” Teacher Li’s eyes flashed, and seemed to find the hole in my story.
Teacher Li was truly sharp; if I were any other student, I would’ve broken down.
“Teacher, Jiang Muqing’s house was evicted, remember? Her family couldn’t live on the streets. And her family would never tell us their new address!”
“So that’s how it is. Alright, I’ll tell you the specific address. When you go, please ask in my name. And please go comfort her. This is really too much for a sweet, young girl.”
“Here’s the homework and test papers for this week. Please take these to her once school ends.” Li was really a teacher to the core.
“Got it, Teacher Li. Thanks a lot!”
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