Chapter 131 – The Living Headache
“Boss, here is the report!” One of my subordinates told me, while as usual, using the wrong way of addressing me… Though considering how sudden this whole lord thing was, and how it has given me headaches, stomachaches and insomnia, I can’t quite blame them, even if it’s been a while now.
… I still have to correct him though, “It’s lord.” I said while sighing.
“S-sorry.” My henchman replied.
To think it’s been long since that woman made me lord… And that she even blew up the mansion that she forced onto me… Good grief. I sighed once more while trying to deal with my usual headache that hardly leaves me these days, “Just what was that woman thinking…?” I said to no one in particular.
Like, why kidnap the princess? Why declare war on the Empire? Why kill the nobles of Hermagne? And why attack the Empire’s capital too? She is absolutely incomprehensible… “She even made the prices of everything raise with all her shenanigans…” I murmured while sighing once more.
With our war with the Empire still being unsolved, the myriad of independence declarations within the Empire, and the foreign countries starting to make a move, the supplies started getting a lot more expensive as everyone is hoarding them… This is too rough.
“Seems like you’re quite dissatisfied.” A woman replied.
“Yeah! Like, does she have any idea about how much I’m struggling due to this unstable political situation!? I’m going crazy here!” I exclaimed.
… Wait a minute. A woman replied…?
There shouldn’t be any woman in this room.
I turned around in a hurry, and saw that monster. The one who always makes my life worse each time she comes near me… Why? Why is she here this time!? And why did she have to be here while I happened to be complaining about her!? My head is about to explode!
Okay, calm down. Say something, say something, Eren, something to make amends from your complaints, something to save your hide now… “Hey…?” I said. Way to go, Eren, you’re great at solving problems while panicking.
Couldn’t she at least knock…? Why does she have to sneak up on me like that…?
“I didn’t know this was troubling you so, I apologize.” She said… Dear gods, I’m so dead.
“H-h-hey, come on, calm down, let’s talk.” I hurriedly said. I can’t let things get any worse, please forgive me!
“Coming to think about it, I never gave you any reward for all your hard work, I really should fix that.” She started saying… Oh, please, gods no, don’t let her do that!
“I-I-I-I-I-I actually got some pretty good tea leaves recently, you know? I-I-I’ll get some for you!” I said while hurriedly brewing tea as fast as I possibly could while shaking horribly, it was really hard to not drop anything on the ground… Please gods, let her like tea…
“And well, you need to get properly rewarded for your work. Forgetting that is a big deal.” She ignored my desperate attempts to distract her, and said this hellish statement.
“H-hey, how about a sandwich? I could make one for you if you want-” I was running out of ideas, so I told her that.
However, “Therefore, let’s make you king.” She said that…
“Fuck!” I screamed and ended up letting go of the teacup that was on my hand. It ended up falling on the ground and dirtying it all over… Look at what you’ve done! We had just cleaned this room!
“I mean, you don’t like being the lord of a small city like this, right?” The woman that makes my headache reach levels of pain that I didn’t know were possible said that.
“Le-le-le-let’s just calm down and talk more carefully about it, alright…?” I tried to plead.
“Let’s work while collaborating with Belzenstock to make you king.” She ignored my please.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed as I broke another teacup… That’s the second one in this short time… I’m getting glares from my henchman in charge of cleaning, alright? Please have mercy on me!
“… You okay? Why don’t you relax and drink a bit of tea?” She said while offering me tea… Why is the guest the one offering the tea!? This makes no sense!? “Pretty please…?”
I sighed, “Fine, though I don’t even know why you’re brewing… That’s actually amazing. It’s probably the best tea I ever had.” It was annoying that I was liking something that she of all people made, but I suppose it’s not bad if she makes me happy for a change.
“I actually added Hanako’s scales to the tea as an experiment. I’m glad it was successful.” That woman said.
“Fuck!” I shouted as I let yet another teacup fall on the ground… At this point my henchman in charge of cleaning was just pitying me instead of glaring, “Seriously!?” I shouted to that madwoman.
“Don’t worry, it’s not poisonous.” She said as a reply.
“That’s not the problem here!” I exclaimed. Why did she think it’s okay to serve tea with bug scales in it!? And she said it was an experiment to boot! She didn’t even try it out herself in advance!!!
“I get it, you don’t like Hanako much… Try this one then.” She then told me.
I sighed, “It doesn’t have her scales in it again, does it?” then asked her that.
“It does not have her scales in it.” She replied… Crazy as she is, she is always honest and doesn’t lie, so… It should be safe.
I drank it, and it was great this time too, “It has a nice sweet taste to it. Did you add some juice or something?” I ended up asking.
“I added Takeo’s scales actually.” She said.
“Fuck!” Once more, a teacup fell onto the ground… I really was about to faint from how strong my headache was right now. At this point my henchman in charge of cleaning was actually laughing… Good grief.
“Do you hate Takeo that much?” That woman asked me.
“It’s basically the same as the other one! Why do you think it would be any different!?” I replied.
“Well, I think each person can have their own personal likes and dislikes?” Was her reply… Seriously? How can this woman have such a hard time understanding such simple things!?
… I really hate dealing with mad people, goodness… How am I to stay sane when this is what I have to deal with!?
She seemed to notice that I was about to explode, and ended up saying, “Well, you seem to dislike insects, I suppose?”
“Just what made you realize this much…?” I ended up replying sarcastically… Ah, that’s bad. I can’t really anger this woman after all, I can’t put myself in trouble like that.
“Well, we can talk more later, you don’t need to worry too much.” She said as she got up.
“Ah… Fine.” Good grief, I don’t want any rewards, just please don’t make things even worse for me…
“I’ll be taking the room next to yours, okay?” She asked.
“Do as you please…” Was my answer.
She giggled, “I’ll do just that then.”
“… Ah, there isn’t any kidnapped person with you, is there?” I think I should ask that just in case.
She tilted her head and said, “What are you talking about? I’m no kidnapper.” As if!
“… But of course.” Was what I said though… At least she left after this.
Once we were sure she couldn’t hear it anymore, my subordinate said, “Boss…”
“I’m getting sick…” I told him.
“Do your best…” Was all he could tell me.
Ah, I want to just throw all this paperwork out of the window and then go sleep… Good grief.